Haunted History

Dr. Evil

By Penguin Scott

Dr. Evil was borne out of the Black Plague of 1771. His mother died shortly after contracting the morbid disease during his birth in Europe. His father — a famous Russian scientist. Make that, a mad scientist, after the painful and slow death of his beloved wife.

When Dr. Evil's mother became sick, his father ceased working for a secretive government science lab and focused all efforts on saving his wife from death. He failed.

But his nightmarish experiments, dark and sinister, explored new depths in evil; casting new light upon a savage underworld that heretofore had never seen the light of day!

And in the end, when the madness choked the distorted life from his sinewy veins, his legacy was left for his son. His wife's soul was preserved and housed in a metal box, waiting for another body that would become her new self, so that he could keep her living. And his life's eerie work was documented in volumes of large dusty books; books now in the hands of the immortal Dr. Evil. Books that opened up a relationship with the sinister, who keep Dr. Evil alive to do their bidding amongst the mortals.

Evil summoned the doctor to Guerneville nearly 100 years ago. A perfect storm of events transpired just north of San Francisco. Vast mercury mines that dug deep into the earth's crust disturbed unnatural elements of a ghastly other-world. The cutting down of ancient redwoods in which were housed evil spirits gave birth to wicked unrest. And rampant flood waters of the Russian River exposed graves that reached the depths of hell. This all helped to create a dark capital of menacing things- things that warp a sane mind; things that not only go bump in the night, but wrap their bony fingers around exposed fleshy necks and squeeze so hard that the life slowly saps from the body, and the soul becomes forever lost in chaos and festering darkness.

Some say Dr. Evil toils on whether to take your life or to let you live. Others say he's just a ringleader of fright. But Dr. Evil is no different from you or me. Do we not secretly long to witness the grotesque? Do we not strain to observe the beheadings in the town squares of old? Do we not slow on the highways in hopes to glimpse a twisted corpse, mangled in the wreckage?

Come to Dr. Evil's House of Horrors in Guerneville, CA each weekend in October. See for yourself the evil that reigns within. Consult with the doctor and refill your prescription for terror. Witness the freaks of fear, the monsters of mayhem and the clowns of confusion that make up a dark place in the recesses of your mind. Come, if you dare, to explore the chambers and mazes of his twisted house of macabre and doom.

Dr. Evil's House of Horrors will scare you — but that's why you come. Dr. Evil knows. He knows how to release the straight jacket of your mind to allow you the freedom to explore and connect with that trepidation hidden deep inside you. Dr. Evil knows how to keep the hungry wickedness from consuming the innocent, too. But most importantly, Dr. Evil knows how to keep the evil in GuernEVILle!

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